I touched a dead body

思然 oce
4 min readSep 15, 2022

(Trigger alert: suicide)

Photo by CA Creative on Unsplash

I live in a house share in London.

My landlady, let’s name her K, is usually out in the garden sunbathing and reading when I return home from school. However, I didn’t see her on the day before yesterday and yesterday.

Since I had caught a cold from a student I support, so I have been feeling pretty unwell and slept really early. But I had this weird feeling that why I hadn’t seen her around.

So today when I return home from school and saw her jacket hanging by the staircase, the sense of unsettling sank in. If she was out, she usually put on her jacket. This meant she probably was in the house.

She lived on the 3rd floor, I live on the ground floor and the other housemate live on the 2nd floor. I had actually never gone beyond the 3rd floor but I felt like I need to check. So I went up and knock on the door and called her. No response.

I walked back down and sent her a Whatsapp to check on her. At the same time, I picked up the letters on the floor (the postmen push letters into our house so all the letters are scattered on the floor) and I saw a handwritten note addressed to me, my housemate and K, it was from K’s friend (let’s name her T), saying she failed to reach K and would like us to let her know if K was okay.

The feeling of not okay bugged me, so I run up stairs and knocked loudly on the door, and I realized there was light inside. It was 5:45 pm, absolutely did not need the light, so I tried to open the door to see if it was locked.

It wasn’t.

I walked in, then I saw her lying on her bed.

I called her. No response.

I sensed something was not right.

I patted her as if I could wake her up. But deep down I knew it would not work.

Her body was cold. I still remembered that cold at this moment.

I took out my phone, typed 911, and remembered here it is 999.

The operator asked what they might help me.

I was quite shocked so I struggled, I just said I have a lady at home who was not responding.

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思然 oce

PhD | Research Psychologist | Psychometrician | Computer Science Teacher | IT Auditor/Consultant | ex-CISA/CISSP | Top Writer in Humor | Work in HK, UK, USA