I need a change.
It is getting more difficult for me to focus on my work. First, I have too many projects. Second, all these projects are of the same type which is definitely unchallenging. Ever since I was a kid, I have had difficulties focusing on unchallenging tasks. That’s why I was expelled from my school while I had great exam results.
Right now, I hate what I am working on. It is so meaningless. It is not challenging at all.
The pain about being good at something you don’t enjoy working is actually worse than bad at something you don’t enjoy working — cause you can at least vent to your friends “I hate my job because it is so difficult, I am not good at it.” But it sounds arrogant to say “I hate my job because I am too good at it, it becomes too boring”, especially when you are working in a field with a position that your friends fancy a lot.
Who would understand?
Some may say work is work, it does not have to be enjoyable.
True. But if my work takes up all my time, and I have almost no time left for myself except sleeping (4 hrs) and commuting (1.5 hrs), can’t I at least have some time to work on something I would enjoy? What’s the point of life anyway?
I tried to turn down some project requests, but people just kept on convincing me to take them up. I am not good at saying no. (Great, at least there is something I am not good at in my work…) Also, I am kind of worried that people will think I am saying no because I don’t worry about being laid off, so I have to say yes.
I really don’t understand why projects I turned down always find their way back to me. Now, counting all the time I spent on the emails and discussions I had with those people, I might as well finish what they asked me to do had I said yes at the beginning. Who knows?